FINALLY!

So....

Super quick update!!

I FINISHED THE FIRST DRAFT OF MY FIRST BOOK.

that is all(:

SUPER SAILOR....Gabby?

Yes, its true. I am an anime geek. Well, i used to be anyway. I don't have the time or will power to go out and search for good manga anymore. Lately I've been going back and reminiscing on my old stuff. I gotta say my favorites will always be the senshi type anime. Top Two? Sailor Moon and Tokyo Mew Mew. I used to watch them as a little kid and then i realized they were comics so i went out and bought all the ones i could. I still don't know EVERYTHING about Sailor moon because the show was ending right as i got interested. I own original comics and stuff, though. And I own all the mew mew comics but none of the memorabilia. It's pretty bad how much i love them. i just think the uniforms are so cute and i love the whole woman power thing. Not to mention, the romance is just so darn sweet!!

Anyway, that's my rant for the day!! I hope i didn't waste too much of your time!

Oh, who am I kidding? No one looks at this blog. HAHA

I found this on Deviantart.com. Cute, right? I think so(:

Merry Christmas!

Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! I hope everyone's holidays are going as well as mine. My sister is in from out of state and school is OUT!

Oh gracious, I'm so glad to be done with chemistry. I haven't been able to post on here because I was devoting my life to a class I will never use and adult. But now I am done with that class for the rest of my life! Next on my list to conquer: Honors Geometry.

Heaven help me.

On the bright side, I'm five chapters away from finishing my very own book. No, ladies and gents, I don't mean I'm five chapters done from READING a book. I mean I'm almost done WRITING one. I've been working on it since freshman year and its pretty much crap right now. When I'm done with it, though, I'm going to go back and completely re-write it. Then I will type it and after that I'll type it. That's when the REAL writing begins. I'll start editing for content and grammar until I have myself a pretty decent book I hope. It's my goal to be published before college.

Well you've just been witness to my ranting. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Then again, you were the one who continued reading!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!

Hey! So I added some new things to the story i posted not too long ago. This probably won't be the last time you see this story because I am obsessed with it! Every time I think I reach the end of Elsie and Nick's love story, I add more and more. Eventually it's going to be more of a novel than a short story. haha well, anyway, enjoy the story!

:)

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His hands were pale when they intertwined with hers. They were strong and rough and she could feel the class ring cold against her own hand. She liked the feeling of being connected with him on such a simple level. PDA was never something she liked. He knew that and so holding hands was all they did as they walked through the crowded high school halls. His green eyes looked down at her as she waved to friends walking by. They reached an area less crowded and he brought his head down to her ear.

"Elsie, you're beautiful," he whispered. Her cheeks grew hot, but he couldn't see the pink in them. She chuckled and looked up at him.

"Not enough to deserve you, Nick. How did I get this lucky?"

"You didn't get lucky, I did. Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?" His voice grew a tone of nervousness.

"Homework, I guess. Why?" She was suspicious. Tomorrow would be a Thursday. Not exactly a good night to have a date.

"I want you to meet my parents," he said it quickly and with rushed words like it was the hardest thing he's ever had to do.

"Oh, okay. I'd like that," she felt her own fit of nerves bubbling in her stomach.

"Great! I'll pick you up tomorrow after football practice," he said, kissing her on the cheek and guiding her into her fourth block class.

***

She looked in the mirror one last time. Her hair had decided it would be nice and curl today. The brown locks fell well below her shoulder. She'd toned down her amount of eyeliner and put a natural golden eye shadow on. It made her light brown eyes look less plain. For tonight she had layered her lips in a glossy pink lipgloss.

Dresses weren't her thing, but for tonight she had put on a casual sundress with a black jacket. The greens and yellows that moved throughout the dress made her tan skin glow. She smiled and walked out of her room.

He was waiting downstairs. For once he wore a tucked in button up shirt with a pair of dress pants. It added to his amazing good looks.

"Beautiful, as always," he smiled and grabbed her hand to kiss. She felt like a princess being taken away by her handsome prince.

"Thanks. Mom," she said to the lady sitting on the couch perviously in conversation with him," I finished my homework so don't worry about me being home too early."

"Mrs. Greene, I'll have her home by 9:00 if that's not too late," he said with sincerity.

"Don't worry about it, sweetie! As long as she's back before 11:00 you're fine! Have fun and behave like a lady, Elsie."

"I will, mom. Bye."

The two walked to the door and he opened it kindly for her. She smiled and walked through to his Jeep waiting in the driveway. They both laughed the entire way to his house. His normal comedian ways magnified in order to make her comfortable with meeting his parents. She felt confident as he opened the door to his mansion of a home. A tall man with the same green eyes and a petite woman with his black hair sat on a leather couch sipping wine when they entered. Both adults were unbelievably attractive. It was no wonder why he had turned out so perfect. His parents waved them in and his father stood to greet his son with a hand shake. His mother stood behind and waited her turn to hug her handsome child.

"So this must be the Elsie we keep hearing about," his father's low voice said with a welcome tone.

"You were right, Nick! She is beautiful! Look at our son, Marshall. He's picked quite a lovely young lady!" His mom's cheeks were rosy and kind.

"I, uh, thank you," she said shyly, keeping her eyes on the floor. She wasn't good with compliments.

"You two must be hungry. I know you are, Nick. I mean, when are you not?" Father and son laughed together and they led her into the museum-like dining room. She had become more comfortable and sat at the chair that he had pulled out for her. His mother brought out multiple dished piled with food. They prayed and began to eat.

The dinner was wonderful. His family was so kind to her. All four laughed at jokes and she complimented his mom on the well cooked meal. She was beginning to feel at home when his mother asked a simple question.

"Do tell me, dear, how do you get so tan? You must have laid out all summer!"

"Oh well, it's natural, actually. My mom is from Brazil and my dad is Black. I guess I'm just sort of the middle ground of their two skin tones," she said comfortably. She was not expecting what happened next.

The two parents looked at each other with confusion and then the father looked at his son with disapproval. The father's voice was bitter and cold when he said, "Nick, I need to see you in the kitchen. Now." She could tell that he was confused, too.

"You better leave, Elsie. And I don't think you should see our son anymore," the mother said with ice in her tone.

"I don't understand," she said, standing up slowly and walking toward the way she had come.

"I'm sorry, but we just can't have you seeing our son anymore."

His mother opened the door for her and before she had stepped outside she heard his father's voice echoing throughout the house.

"How dare you bring a Mutt into our white house! What were you thinking?! We raised you better than that and you decide to disgrace this pure home! My God, what are the Klan members going to think when they find out about this?!" His father sounded like a monster.

"I was thinking that I loved her and that you would too. No matter what she was. Who cares what they think? I'm not in the KKK like you are. They don't own me and neither do you. I'm in love Elsie."

"You're never seeing that Satan-child again."

That was the last thing she heard before his mother gently pushed her out of the house and closed the door. She walked home that night. As she entered her home with smeared make-up and a red nose her mother asked, "Honey, what happened?"

"You and Dad happened. I happened."

She ran up to her room and stared at her own brown reflection. It wasn't her fault she was brown. She didn't understand. Her hands clenched into white knuckled fists. She mustered up all her strength and slammed her fist at the large mirror. It smashed and shards flew everywhere, some cutting her arms and face as they bounced off her knuckles. She hit it again with the other fist. Again and again she punched the mirror until her fists were unrecognizable. Red flooded the floor. Slowly she dropped to her knees and cringed as more glass embedded itself in her legs.

She passed out and in the hospital they said it was from loss of blood. She didn't really care. All she knew was that he wasn't there. There was no pale hand to stroke her cheek and tell her everything would be alright. Tears burned her face as they made their way down to her hospital gown. She lifted her hands to see them wrapped in bloodstained bandages. They were more like nubs at this point. The hands were so heavily covered with soft cloth.

The words he had spoken rang in her ears over and over again like a song stuck on replay. "I'm in love with Elsie Greene." His voice in her mind was comfort, but not enough to stop the pain she felt all over her body.

An aged doctor walked in and spoke softly to her, "Don't you worry, little miss. You're going to be perfectly fine," she said with a pitying smile,"Quite a little temper you have there. Gracious, you are quite beautiful. You must be mixed, am I right?"

Between sobs she answered.

"Yes, I'm mixed."

***

A month later she entered her high school doors with a painted smile and bright eyes just dried from tears. Most people had no clue anything had happened at all with him, those who did pretended they didn't. The circulated excuse for her absence was a massive car crash that had shattered the windshield and sent glass flying in her direction. People believed it easily. It had been one of the few times she was grateful for the ignorance of the teenage brain.

No one questioned her on her way to her first class. People stopped her with hugs and pats on the back. A few people smiled in the halls, glad to see their class president back. With her head down and headphones blasting rock music through her ears she sat at the art table and pretended to work on Geometry. Lilli, a small Asian girl with blonde streaks in her hair and a lipstick stained smile, tapped her on the shoulder. She resentfully took out her headphones and stared at Lilli as she said, "Where ya been, Els?" Lilli stopped a moment to blow a gum bubble and continued, "They said you were out for surgery. I don't believe that a bit. So what's the truth?"

"Surgery, I swear," she held up her wrapped hands. It wasn't technically a lie. The doctors had done surgery to remove some of the glass in her knees and hands. So much skin had been torn apart that she had to have a skin graft. It wasn't completely healed yet.The grafted skin still looked foreign from her own. Pale. Puffy. They said it would take months to heal and that she was sort of lucky the process was taking place in the winter. Fewer people would ask questions about why she was wearing gloves all the time.

She found it ironic. Sometimes she laughed grimly at her own sick little joke. He couldn't date her because she was mixed. Well, now she was white and if he saw what the doctors had done to her, he would run away gagging. It was a no win situation for her. He, on the other hand, probably had already picked up a new girl with blonde hair and blue eyes that his parents would be proud of. The thought of it hurt more than the shards of glass cutting through her skin.

"What kind of car crash injures your hands and not your face at the same time?"

"Lilli, I really don't want to talk about it. Maybe later. I have so much to catch up on. Can you please just let me do my homework in peace?" She lowered her head back to her geometry book and watched Lilli's feet as she shuffled away defeated.

She didn't get any work whatsoever done that class. Her eyes saw numbers and lines and shapes, but her mind saw the hospital room that had been stuffed with "get well soon" cards from friends and had a different group of people at her bedside each time she woke up. It had made her realize how many people actually did care about her. Some of the people that had showed up she could only remember talking to maybe once or twice in her life. Some she didn't recognize at all. It put a smile on her face each time, but as soon as the crowd left she would feel tears dripping down her cheeks. None of them were him. He didn't visit once the entire month she had been in the hospital. For all he knew she could have been dead. Not that he would have cared.

The bell rang and she raced out of the art room. If things hadn't changed then she knew exactly the route he took to class every day. She also knew exactly how to avoid it, and she did. At the end of each period she was the first to leave and the first to arrive in her next classroom. She shoved herself through the crowded main hallways that she knew he never took and crept through back halls. It was kind of pathetic, she thought, to be hiding from the boy she loved more than anyone.

The last class of the day she walked her regular route. The only reason he had ever gone this way was to walk her to her classroom. By the time she got to the hallway her classroom was located in she figured he was probably just now settling into his chemistry class directly above her. Or maybe he was walking another girl to class. She forced a deep breath from her lungs and told her heart not to care. It didn't listen, but she had decided to keep trying.

One turn. Just one turn away from her English class. She worked her way to the back door of the class room and just as she swerved around a few overgrown freshman boys she saw him. All of his team jersey wearing,dark hair, and glittering green eyed glory was standing in the doorway to her classroom. He kept looking around anxiously. She stood by the wall for a moment and watched him, hoping he would leave the doorway open. It would have been easier for her to just turn around and use the other entrance to the class, but she was glued to him.

Every so often a pretty girl or two would walk by and wave excitedly at him. He smiled politely at them, but paid little more attention than that. A few of the football players patted his shoulder or shook his hand. Toni, one of the loudest Linebackers she had ever met in her life strode up to him, slapped him on the butt and talked loud enough for half the hallway to hear, "Hey, Nick, you ready to beat some butt tonight? Tornadoes for life, dude!" Toni high-fived him half-heartedly and kept standing by her door as Toni walked away. Was he waiting for her?

She straightened her shoulders and tried to pull her sleeves down past her hands. Quickly she walked forward debating whether she wanted to take the chance of rushing through the door he was blocking or just walking on past to get to the second entrance. In the end she chose the second entrance. How awful would she feel if he noticed her and it turned out that she wasn't the one she was waiting for. The thought in itself pushed her stomach to the floor.

There was an invisible force pulling her closer and closer to him, but he fought with everything she had. If she kept walking he wouldn't even notice her. At this point, though, she was more at a jog. She pulled herself together and walked right past him, not even looking up to his emerald eyes following her. A moment later she heard large footstep walking quickly to catch up with her.

"Elsie, could you slow down?" His voice was Morphine to her.

She ignored him and he continued to follow. There was a tug at her sweatshirt hood and then a strong hand on her shoulder. Her breathing quickened. If she looked at him she would go weak. If she didn't she would have to live without ever knowing what he was going to say. Her head turned slowly toward his direction. His green eyes were waiting for her there.

"We need to talk," he said with a firm voice sprinkled with pleading.

"You had a month to talk to me. I know you knew I was there. You wouldn't have cared if I had died in that hospital. Why would I want to talk to you?" Her voice grew weaker with each word. She knew what was coming out of her mouth wasn't true and there was no way to make it sound convincing. "I waited every day to see your face there. You never showed up." Tears had found their way out of her and were dripping on the the school tiles.

"The first night you were put in the hospital I was there. I tried to talk to you, but you were unconscious. I wanted to come visit more, but the visitor's center manager is a Klan member with my father. I begged him to let me in once, but he called my parents. They took my car, my phone, and my computer. I had no way of reaching you. Two weeks ago I tried walking to the hospital. When I got to your room you were asleep again. The doctors had just done surgery. I guess I have bad timing." He scratched his head in the nervous way he always did.

Silent sobs filled her lungs. What words she would have said were drown by tears. She put her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her as if letting go would mean dying. The tardy bell had rung minutes ago, but they were past the point of caring. His warmth sent heat through her entire body, numbing the constant pain that followed her after that night.

"Your mom told me. Elsie, I didn't want to put you through this. If I had known this was going to happen I would never have brought you to my house. I would have never asked you to go to that college football game with me last year. You went through all this pain because of me. I never want that to happen again." He broke the hug and looked directly into her eyes. Tears welled up in his eyes, just waiting for gravity to allow to fall and join her puddle on the floor.

"Are you saying you regret ever becoming my boyfriend?"

"I'm saying if I would have known how much pain my love for you had cost," He grabbed her hands carefully cradling them in his, "I would have stopped you from going through this." He unwrapped and area of the bandages and kissed the raw skin beneath. It sent electricity down her spine. The stitches holding together her new skin burned, but she never wanted the fire to disappear. It was a pain she desperately wanted more of.

"I am in love with your skin, with your beauty, with your brains, with your smile, with your happiness. Elsie Greene, I am madly, insanely, uncontrollably in love with you. And that's why I'm switching schools."

It's a Volunteer Nation

It's almost time for Basketball season in VOLnation! I gotta say, I wear my orange with PRIDE. This past Saturday was Race for the Cure in Ktown. At the end the Basketball team was there to greet us. I about died to get my picture taken with my favorite Volunteers!

Stephen Pearl + Renaldo Woolridge(Swiperboy) + Skylar McBee (for three) = MY LOVES

This season should be rockin even with Bruce Pearl's one incident. But everyone makes mistakes and its not like he was doing something unbearably wrong. I still have faith in him.

This coming Thursday is an exhibition game and I am going to be there screaming so loud that the football players will be able to hear me in Neyland Stadium.

And So...

Tomorrow begins another week of public high school in Tennessee. FUN...psh. I have about a million places to be this week and odds are I will only get to half of them...if im lucky. On the brightside...those millions of places will be documented by my amazing new camera(:

My friend Drove me to a school play today. I envy her license. Only a few more months until i can drive my own car! Oh my goodness, it's so weird to think that im to the age that my friends and i are actually driving our OWN cars instead of being carried around by our parents. It's kinda AWESOME. just saying(:

BTW- the picture above is of our awesome Varsity Quarterback. I had to interview him for an article not too long ago. You'd think he'd be the biggest jerk of all time, but honestly, he's like the sweetest guy ever! Oh, and that one person who I am on a relationship roller coaster with is now on talking terms with me. From now on, we're just friends...again...

SONY 350(:

I got a new camera(: You can be expecting lots and lots of awesome pitchas. :D I'm feeling a photoshoot coming on...

Is it Summer yet?

I'd rather be there than here...

Life was so much easier before my AP class tore it apart. It's time for another vacation. I'm thinking Tulum, Mexico? I know this perfect beach where the water is clear and warm (not because of pee). You can snorkel 50 ft. from shore and see sea turtles. People walk around selling fresh fruit (REAL fresh, not the kind that are freshly out of the freezer). There's practically no one around. The sand is soft and white. And You can almost see the ancient Incan (or maybe Aztec) Ruins. THAT would be something I'd actually like to learn more about.

Gracious. I need a nap.

Journalism Class

SO,
I am sitting here...in journalism class...posting my blog because I have no articles to work on...Erin and I are looking at photos and being bored. It's fun, though, because Journalism is the highlight of my school day. Only 50 more minutes until i can go home and take a NAP.

*DRAMA UPDATE*
We're off again. Probably for good. I can't stand it, though. Ignoring him SUCKS.

Darn you, high school. Darn you.

New Short Story - "Mixed"

(I don't understand the weird spacing issue)

So, I figured it was about time I posted another shortstory. This one is more personal than the other because it deals with one or two aspects of my own life. However, the story is ENTIRELY fictional. None of these things actually happened. I really like this story, though. It has a TON that needs to be edited (this is only the first draft). I'm thinking about adding another part to it so it has a happy ending. Not sure yet...

Well, enjoy Mixed by Gabriella Valentine!

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His hands were pale when they intertwined with hers. They were strong and rough and she could feel the class ring cold against her own hand. She liked the feeling of being connected with him on such a simple level. PDA was never something she liked. He knew that and so holding hands was all they did as they walked through the crowded high school halls. His green eyes looked down at her as she waved to friends walking by. They reached an area less crowded and he brought his head down to her ear.

"Elsie, you're beautiful," he whispered. Her cheeks grew hot, but he couldn't see the pink in them. She chuckled and looked up at him.

"Not enough to deserve you, Nick. How did I get this lucky?"

"You didn't get lucky, I did. Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?" His voice grew a tone of nervousness.

"Homework, I guess. Why?" She was suspicious. Tomorrow would be a Thursday. Not exactly a good night to have a date.

"I want you to meet my parents," he said it quickly and with rushed words like it was the hardest thing he's ever had to do.

"Oh, okay. I'd like that," she felt her own fit of nerves bubbling in her stomach.

"Great! I'll pick you up tomorrow after football practice," he said, kissing her on the cheek and guiding her into her fourth block class.

***

She looked in the mirror one last time. Her hair had decided it would be nice and curl today. The brown locks fell well below her shoulder. She'd toned down her amount of eyeliner and put a natural golden eye shadow on. It made her light brown eyes look less plain.

Dresses weren't her thing, but for tonight she had put on a casual sundress with a black jacket. The greens and yellows that moved throughout the dress made her tan skin glow. She smiled and walked out of her room.

He was waiting downstairs. For once he wore a tucked in button up shirt with a pair of dress pants. It added to his amazing good looks.

"Beautiful, as always," he smiled and grabbed her hand to kiss. She felt like a princess being taken away by her handsome prince.

"Thanks. Mom," she said to the lady sitting on the couch perviously in conversation with him," I finished my homework so don't worry about me being home too early."

"Mrs. Greene, I'll have her home by 9:00 if that's not too late," he said with sincerity.

"Don't worry about it, sweetie! As long as she's back before 11:00 you're fine! Have fun and behave like a lady, Elsie."

"I will, mom. Bye."

The two walked to the door and he opened it kindly for her. She smiled and walked through to his Jeep waiting in the driveway. They both laughed the entire way to his house. His normal comedian ways magnified in order to make her comfortable with meeting his parents. She felt confident as he opened the door to his mansion of a home. A tall man with the same green eyes and a petite woman with his black hair sat on a leather couch sipping wine when they entered. Both adults were unbelievably attractive. It was no wonder why he had turned out so perfect. His parents waved them in and his father stood to greet his son with a hand shake. His mother stood behind and waited her turn to hug her handsome child.

"So this must be the Elsie we keep hearing about," his father's low voice said with a welcome tone.

"You were right, Nick! She is beautiful! Look at our son, Marshall. He's picked quite a lovely young lady!" His mom's cheeks were rosy and kind.

"I, uh, thank you," she said shyly, keeping her eyes on the floor. She wasn't good with compliments.

"You two must be hungry. I know you are, Nick. I mean, when are you not?" Father and son laughed together and they led her into the museum-like dining room. She had become more comfortable and sat at the chair that he had pulled out for her. His mother brought out multiple dished piled with food. They prayed and began to eat.

The dinner was wonderful. His family was so kind to her. All four laughed at jokes and she complimented his mom on the well cooked meal. She was beginning to feel at home when his mother asked a simple question.

"Do tell me, dear, how do you get so tan? You must have laid out all summer!"

"Oh well, it's natural, actually. My mom is from Chile and My dad is Black. I guess I'm just sort of the middle ground of their two skin tones," she said comfortably. She was not expecting what happened next.

The two parents looked at each other with confusion and then the father looked at his son with disapproval. The father's voice was bitter and cold when he said, "Nick, I need to see you in the kitchen. Now." She could tell that he was confused, too.

"You better leave, Elsie. And I don't think you should see our son anymore," the mother said with ice in her tone.

"I don't understand," she said, standing up slowly and walking toward the way she had come.

"I'm sorry, but we just can't have you seeing our son anymore."

His mother opened the door for her and before she had stepped outside she heard his father's voice echoing throughout the house.

"How dare you bring a nigger's daughter to our home! What were you thinking?! We raised you better than that and you decide to disgrace this pure home!" His father sounded like a monster.

" I was thinking that I loved her and that you would too. No matter what she was."

That was the last thing she heard before his mother gently pushed her out of the house and closed the door. She walked home that night. As she entered her home with smeared make-up and a red nose her mother asked, "Honey, what happened?"

"You and Dad happened. I happened."

She ran up to her room and stared at her own brown reflection. It wasn't her fault she was brown. She didn't understand. Her hands reached for the high heel on her foot and threw it at the mirror. It smashed and shards flew everywhere. A few hit her arms and she screamed out in pain. Another scraped her forehead. She passed out and in the hospital they said it was from loss of blood. He wasn't there. There was no pale hand to stroke her cheek and tell her everything would be alright. Silently she cried.

A doctor walked in and spoke softly to her, "Don't you worry, little miss. You're pretty face will be alright. Gracious, you are quite beautiful. You must be mixed, am I right?"

This made her cry even harder. Between sobs she answered.

"Yes, I'm mixed."

This is Why I am a Hawk

In only our second year as a football team, the Hawks have secured some respect. After our last game we are now 2nd in our division and we're going to the PLAYOFFS, baabaay!! yepp! We've got a record of 6-2 which is a heck of a lot better than our inaugural season when we only won ONE game the entire time. But Oh, goodness, last Friday's game was amazing. Our football stars played incredibly. Only two more games left in until playoffs! By then I will have a brand spankin new camera with a better lens for sports photos (: Be expecting AMAZING pictures to come! And now for a...

DRAMA UPDATE:

that kid right there in the photo? Yeah, that's the guy....just sayin.

It's an on and off relationship.....kinda....ish....sorta...if you wanna call it that.

He was looking directly at the camera when I took this picture and I only just now figured it out. I am so observant...not. Oh, well, i love the kid(:

What do you do...

When your heart gets broken and you're in one of those teenage slumps that never seem to end?

-Watch bands you've never heard of on youtube.

-Play football with some friends in a field that happens to be within walking distance of his house.

-point out hot boys and ignore it when your friends call you desperate.

-Look as hot as heck so that when you walk past the boy who hurt you he drops his jaw and drools.

-drown yourself in SGA and homework so thinking about something else is impossible.

-go to his football games and take pictures of him getting smashed by the opposing team.

-watch the leaves fall from the tree outside of your window.

Boys are dumb.

Yuh-yuh-YELLOW.

I am incredibly proud of the huge amount of sophomores who wore Yellow today(: It shows me i must be doing SOMETHING right. maybe.....

Tonight is going to be the bonfire. We're expecting a huge turnout. Probably more people than who are going to homecoming. It's going to be freaking cold, but SO much fun!

What I've realized...

Nobody actually reads my blog. It's more of like a journal right now that if my mom wanted to read...she could. If only she knew how to work a computer. Anyway, I've also realized that I complain...A LOT...on here. I can see why people wouldn't want to read it. So from now on, I am going to try to always put positive things on my blog so no one gets bored, you know, if they ever read it. Tomorrow is Who's who in Hollywood day for spirit week...I'm going as Pochohantas. It's only fitting(:

I'd dream about sleeping...If I slept.

My schedule?

Monday- "Country Bumpkin Monday" and column decorations

Tuesday- "Time Travel Tuesday" and Class Olympics

Wednesday- "Who's who in Hollywood Wednesday" and church activity

Thursday- "True Color Thursday" (i wear yellow) and Bond Fire

Friday- "FANatic Friday" Game against the Devils and our Homecoming rave.

I love spirit week with a passion.

GO HAWKS.

President+Spirit Week = No Sleep

Today is only Monday of Homecoming week. I am the President of a class of over 500 and I have no VP, treasurer, or secretary at this moment because people are too lazy. I have relied on generous sophomore volunteers since last week to put together our class columns. I love spirit week, don't get me wrong, but waking up at 5:30 and not leaving the school until 10:30 tends to wear a girl out.

It'd be great if people actually read this...

HORMONES. <- someone kill them.

Worst part about being a teenager? The crappy mood swings and messed up relationships. Boys are dumb...obviously. I know that none of this drama I'm going through has nothing to do with anything that will happen in my future so why do I care? Because my stupid undeveloped brain tells me too! Bleh.

It's because I'm a teenage girl...

I write...a lot. I love to write more than anything.

This post is part of a short story i wrote for another website called Young Writers Society. It's called, "Regret Letters" for reasons that are found later in the story. I thought I would post it, though and see what people think about it. Please critique if you feel the desire! I will post more If people like it!

-gabbs

"Morgan," I yelled over the blasting punk rock,"you are going to get us killed if you drive any faster!"

Brown strands of hair were whipping at my face. With the top down, Morgan's car was like being caught in a tornado, but louder.

"We're fine! I can drive better than you, thank you very much!" Her voice was barely audible over the booming music and rushing wind.

"If I die, I am so suing you!"

"You'll be dead. I don't think that's possible!"

"How would you know?"

"Just a guess," she said in her most often used sarcastic tone. We laughed at the thought of it all. It was just a joke. No one was actually supposed to die.

It was only three minutes later that a drunk driver on the wrong side of the road crashed into Morgan's BMW. The impact alone crushed one of Morgan ribs. She ducked in pain as the glass from both cars shattered. A shard cut my face, then my shoulder and finally a large piece hit my chest. It was a bulls-eye shot to my heart. My lungs begged for air that wasn't coming. With every thump of my heart I died a little more.

* * *

Morgan, with a cast on her left arm, sat next to Cody who sat next to Stephen and Jackson. They sat next to five other teenagers. The front row was full. So were ten other rows. Behind them, even more teenagers, mixed with adults, stood.

There were people I didn't even recognize.

No one spoke. Every so often there was a sniffle here and there to break the uneasy silence. Morgan sat silently while tears ran down her rosy face. Even while she was crying, her face was stern with strength. Only a few people other than I knew how weak she could become. She held that face so well. Cody was fidgeting with his fingers as he stared blankly into the deep hole. He always had been the panicky type. Jackson teared up every once in awhile and he would quickly wipe away the sadness with his jacket sleeve. I knew he wasn't as tough everyone thought he was. Two A.M. phone calls had proven that in eighth grade. When he was tired he sang his ABC's and when I was sad he got nervous. Crying was like a disease that he didn't want to catch. It made me wonder how he must feel now.

Then there was Stephen. I had almost hoped he would cry, but he didn't. Stephen sat between Cody and Jackson without movement. He stared off into nowhere, letting his tear free blue eyes wander in their own little world. His face was stern with a purposely serious face. It seemed that even at my funeral, Stephen would never cry over me.

He never had, never would.

I was in my coffin. I knew that. My unmoving, scratched up, and helpless body was right there. It lay pale and serious, two things I never was in my life. This was my funeral and my parents sat in the very back, too pained to be any closer to their little girl. Daddy held Mom close as if he was afraid of losing her, too. Mom cried and cried. Her face was constantly submerged in her own shaky hands. I watched as Daddy's face switched in a never-ending cycle from sad,to serious.

His baby would never hug him again.

My two older sisters stood behind Mom and Daddy with one hand on either parent and one on each other. No one expected me to be the first to die. I didn't exactly expect it either. The fact of the matter was that Eliza Bock was dead and currently being lowered into the ground.

I was being lowered into the ground.

Everyone only stared as I descended lower and lower into my hole. Morgan's green eyes began gushing out tears and she nestled her head into Cody's shoulder. I knew that my best friend must be thinking this was all her fault, but it wasn't.

The whole ordeal was unbelievable. A sixteen year old girl,me,having and untimely death. And yet, somehow, I was still there. In the crowd, but also above it. Watching people I cared about cry. But I was dead, wasn't I? I was supposed to be long gone. In some kind of heaven or hell, but I was still there among the living. Tears wanted to well up in my eyes, but didn't. Shivers wanted to run down my spine, but couldn't. All I could feel were my emotions. I looked down and saw a body, but could not feel it.

My mind told the unfeeling body to move forward, and it did, but I couldn't feel the dewy grass under my feet. I told it to move faster, and I was flying, floating, running, whatever I did, quicker than was humanly possible. In less than three seconds I had exited the funeral area and was quickly moving towards the road. I moved so fast that it seemed the cars next to me were at a stand-still. In almost a minute I was staring at my beautiful blue house. Looking at the life I had lived only a few days earlier, knowing that I never would live it again.

We were freshman

not on the same page

Oh how I HATE writers block!

In case you didn't know...i love to write. For real, i LOVE to write. Ive been writing little stories since i was a younger kid. At this point, since I've basically learned all the basics of putting a pen on paper, i have been writing a book. (so nerdy, i know) but anyway, I started it in my algebra class last semester and right now I've written up to chapter nine and who knows how many pages. ( i should count that one day). My book is all in my head and I have so many great ideas, so many characters, so many adventures that are just DYING to be put on paper for the world to read. The only problem is that sometimes these ideas want to all come out at once and I can't write it down as fast as my brain wants me to. Just tonight while i was babysitting and the child i watch was asleep, i sat there with my green binder that holds my book and i began to write. I wrote i think about three or four pages for the book and then i just.....stopped.

My brain moving and i just couldn't continue without screwing everything up.

I had planned to maybe be done with my first draft to my first book by the beginning of sophomore year, but writing is so much harder than i imagined that i fear i may never be done. This is what i want to do, though. I want to be the next J.K. Rowling or Stephanie Meyer ( im Mormon so im already half way there. haha) and i want to be able to tell my children how their mom published her first book before she was even out of high school. But is my dream even possible? With all the summer work i have to do, plus how much i am gone or busy, i feel like it is only a pipe dream that can't come true. But just think about it....to be able to say that my first book was sold before i graduated high school would be the highlight of my life. I want to entertain people, to make them think, to allow them the chance to escape the real world. I want to write

my crazy antisocial writer's face