His hands were pale when they intertwined with hers. They were strong and rough and she could feel the class ring cold against her own hand. She liked the feeling of being connected with him on such a simple level. PDA was never something she liked. He knew that and so holding hands was all they did as they walked through the crowded high school halls. His green eyes looked down at her as she waved to friends walking by. They reached an area less crowded and he brought his head down to her ear.
"Elsie, you're beautiful," he whispered. Her cheeks grew hot, but he couldn't see the pink in them. She chuckled and looked up at him.
"Not enough to deserve you, Nick. How did I get this lucky?"
"You didn't get lucky, I did. Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?" His voice grew a tone of nervousness.
"Homework, I guess. Why?" She was suspicious. Tomorrow would be a Thursday. Not exactly a good night to have a date.
"I want you to meet my parents," he said it quickly and with rushed words like it was the hardest thing he's ever had to do.
"Oh, okay. I'd like that," she felt her own fit of nerves bubbling in her stomach.
"Great! I'll pick you up tomorrow after football practice," he said, kissing her on the cheek and guiding her into her fourth block class.
***
She looked in the mirror one last time. Her hair had decided it would be nice and curl today. The brown locks fell well below her shoulder. She'd toned down her amount of eyeliner and put a natural golden eye shadow on. It made her light brown eyes look less plain. For tonight she had layered her lips in a glossy pink lipgloss.
Dresses weren't her thing, but for tonight she had put on a casual sundress with a black jacket. The greens and yellows that moved throughout the dress made her tan skin glow. She smiled and walked out of her room.
He was waiting downstairs. For once he wore a tucked in button up shirt with a pair of dress pants. It added to his amazing good looks.
"Beautiful, as always," he smiled and grabbed her hand to kiss. She felt like a princess being taken away by her handsome prince.
"Thanks. Mom," she said to the lady sitting on the couch perviously in conversation with him," I finished my homework so don't worry about me being home too early."
"Mrs. Greene, I'll have her home by 9:00 if that's not too late," he said with sincerity.
"Don't worry about it, sweetie! As long as she's back before 11:00 you're fine! Have fun and behave like a lady, Elsie."
"I will, mom. Bye."
The two walked to the door and he opened it kindly for her. She smiled and walked through to his Jeep waiting in the driveway. They both laughed the entire way to his house. His normal comedian ways magnified in order to make her comfortable with meeting his parents. She felt confident as he opened the door to his mansion of a home. A tall man with the same green eyes and a petite woman with his black hair sat on a leather couch sipping wine when they entered. Both adults were unbelievably attractive. It was no wonder why he had turned out so perfect. His parents waved them in and his father stood to greet his son with a hand shake. His mother stood behind and waited her turn to hug her handsome child.
"So this must be the Elsie we keep hearing about," his father's low voice said with a welcome tone.
"You were right, Nick! She is beautiful! Look at our son, Marshall. He's picked quite a lovely young lady!" His mom's cheeks were rosy and kind.
"I, uh, thank you," she said shyly, keeping her eyes on the floor. She wasn't good with compliments.
"You two must be hungry. I know you are, Nick. I mean, when are you not?" Father and son laughed together and they led her into the museum-like dining room. She had become more comfortable and sat at the chair that he had pulled out for her. His mother brought out multiple dished piled with food. They prayed and began to eat.
The dinner was wonderful. His family was so kind to her. All four laughed at jokes and she complimented his mom on the well cooked meal. She was beginning to feel at home when his mother asked a simple question.
"Do tell me, dear, how do you get so tan? You must have laid out all summer!"
"Oh well, it's natural, actually. My mom is from Brazil and my dad is Black. I guess I'm just sort of the middle ground of their two skin tones," she said comfortably. She was not expecting what happened next.
The two parents looked at each other with confusion and then the father looked at his son with disapproval. The father's voice was bitter and cold when he said, "Nick, I need to see you in the kitchen. Now." She could tell that he was confused, too.
"You better leave, Elsie. And I don't think you should see our son anymore," the mother said with ice in her tone.
"I don't understand," she said, standing up slowly and walking toward the way she had come.
"I'm sorry, but we just can't have you seeing our son anymore."
His mother opened the door for her and before she had stepped outside she heard his father's voice echoing throughout the house.
"How dare you bring a Mutt into our white house! What were you thinking?! We raised you better than that and you decide to disgrace this pure home! My God, what are the Klan members going to think when they find out about this?!" His father sounded like a monster.
"I was thinking that I loved her and that you would too. No matter what she was. Who cares what they think? I'm not in the KKK like you are. They don't own me and neither do you. I'm in love Elsie."
"You're never seeing that Satan-child again."
That was the last thing she heard before his mother gently pushed her out of the house and closed the door. She walked home that night. As she entered her home with smeared make-up and a red nose her mother asked, "Honey, what happened?"
"You and Dad happened. I happened."
She ran up to her room and stared at her own brown reflection. It wasn't her fault she was brown. She didn't understand. Her hands clenched into white knuckled fists. She mustered up all her strength and slammed her fist at the large mirror. It smashed and shards flew everywhere, some cutting her arms and face as they bounced off her knuckles. She hit it again with the other fist. Again and again she punched the mirror until her fists were unrecognizable. Red flooded the floor. Slowly she dropped to her knees and cringed as more glass embedded itself in her legs.
She passed out and in the hospital they said it was from loss of blood. She didn't really care. All she knew was that he wasn't there. There was no pale hand to stroke her cheek and tell her everything would be alright. Tears burned her face as they made their way down to her hospital gown. She lifted her hands to see them wrapped in bloodstained bandages. They were more like nubs at this point. The hands were so heavily covered with soft cloth.
The words he had spoken rang in her ears over and over again like a song stuck on replay. "I'm in love with Elsie Greene." His voice in her mind was comfort, but not enough to stop the pain she felt all over her body.
An aged doctor walked in and spoke softly to her, "Don't you worry, little miss. You're going to be perfectly fine," she said with a pitying smile,"Quite a little temper you have there. Gracious, you are quite beautiful. You must be mixed, am I right?"
Between sobs she answered.
"Yes, I'm mixed."
***
A month later she entered her high school doors with a painted smile and bright eyes just dried from tears. Most people had no clue anything had happened at all with him, those who did pretended they didn't. The circulated excuse for her absence was a massive car crash that had shattered the windshield and sent glass flying in her direction. People believed it easily. It had been one of the few times she was grateful for the ignorance of the teenage brain.
No one questioned her on her way to her first class. People stopped her with hugs and pats on the back. A few people smiled in the halls, glad to see their class president back. With her head down and headphones blasting rock music through her ears she sat at the art table and pretended to work on Geometry. Lilli, a small Asian girl with blonde streaks in her hair and a lipstick stained smile, tapped her on the shoulder. She resentfully took out her headphones and stared at Lilli as she said, "Where ya been, Els?" Lilli stopped a moment to blow a gum bubble and continued, "They said you were out for surgery. I don't believe that a bit. So what's the truth?"
"Surgery, I swear," she held up her wrapped hands. It wasn't technically a lie. The doctors had done surgery to remove some of the glass in her knees and hands. So much skin had been torn apart that she had to have a skin graft. It wasn't completely healed yet.The grafted skin still looked foreign from her own. Pale. Puffy. They said it would take months to heal and that she was sort of lucky the process was taking place in the winter. Fewer people would ask questions about why she was wearing gloves all the time.
She found it ironic. Sometimes she laughed grimly at her own sick little joke. He couldn't date her because she was mixed. Well, now she was white and if he saw what the doctors had done to her, he would run away gagging. It was a no win situation for her. He, on the other hand, probably had already picked up a new girl with blonde hair and blue eyes that his parents would be proud of. The thought of it hurt more than the shards of glass cutting through her skin.
"What kind of car crash injures your hands and not your face at the same time?"
"Lilli, I really don't want to talk about it. Maybe later. I have so much to catch up on. Can you please just let me do my homework in peace?" She lowered her head back to her geometry book and watched Lilli's feet as she shuffled away defeated.
She didn't get any work whatsoever done that class. Her eyes saw numbers and lines and shapes, but her mind saw the hospital room that had been stuffed with "get well soon" cards from friends and had a different group of people at her bedside each time she woke up. It had made her realize how many people actually did care about her. Some of the people that had showed up she could only remember talking to maybe once or twice in her life. Some she didn't recognize at all. It put a smile on her face each time, but as soon as the crowd left she would feel tears dripping down her cheeks. None of them were him. He didn't visit once the entire month she had been in the hospital. For all he knew she could have been dead. Not that he would have cared.
The bell rang and she raced out of the art room. If things hadn't changed then she knew exactly the route he took to class every day. She also knew exactly how to avoid it, and she did. At the end of each period she was the first to leave and the first to arrive in her next classroom. She shoved herself through the crowded main hallways that she knew he never took and crept through back halls. It was kind of pathetic, she thought, to be hiding from the boy she loved more than anyone.
The last class of the day she walked her regular route. The only reason he had ever gone this way was to walk her to her classroom. By the time she got to the hallway her classroom was located in she figured he was probably just now settling into his chemistry class directly above her. Or maybe he was walking another girl to class. She forced a deep breath from her lungs and told her heart not to care. It didn't listen, but she had decided to keep trying.
One turn. Just one turn away from her English class. She worked her way to the back door of the class room and just as she swerved around a few overgrown freshman boys she saw him. All of his team jersey wearing,dark hair, and glittering green eyed glory was standing in the doorway to her classroom. He kept looking around anxiously. She stood by the wall for a moment and watched him, hoping he would leave the doorway open. It would have been easier for her to just turn around and use the other entrance to the class, but she was glued to him.
Every so often a pretty girl or two would walk by and wave excitedly at him. He smiled politely at them, but paid little more attention than that. A few of the football players patted his shoulder or shook his hand. Toni, one of the loudest Linebackers she had ever met in her life strode up to him, slapped him on the butt and talked loud enough for half the hallway to hear, "Hey, Nick, you ready to beat some butt tonight? Tornadoes for life, dude!" Toni high-fived him half-heartedly and kept standing by her door as Toni walked away. Was he waiting for her?
She straightened her shoulders and tried to pull her sleeves down past her hands. Quickly she walked forward debating whether she wanted to take the chance of rushing through the door he was blocking or just walking on past to get to the second entrance. In the end she chose the second entrance. How awful would she feel if he noticed her and it turned out that she wasn't the one she was waiting for. The thought in itself pushed her stomach to the floor.
There was an invisible force pulling her closer and closer to him, but he fought with everything she had. If she kept walking he wouldn't even notice her. At this point, though, she was more at a jog. She pulled herself together and walked right past him, not even looking up to his emerald eyes following her. A moment later she heard large footstep walking quickly to catch up with her.
"Elsie, could you slow down?" His voice was Morphine to her.
She ignored him and he continued to follow. There was a tug at her sweatshirt hood and then a strong hand on her shoulder. Her breathing quickened. If she looked at him she would go weak. If she didn't she would have to live without ever knowing what he was going to say. Her head turned slowly toward his direction. His green eyes were waiting for her there.
"We need to talk," he said with a firm voice sprinkled with pleading.
"You had a month to talk to me. I know you knew I was there. You wouldn't have cared if I had died in that hospital. Why would I want to talk to you?" Her voice grew weaker with each word. She knew what was coming out of her mouth wasn't true and there was no way to make it sound convincing. "I waited every day to see your face there. You never showed up." Tears had found their way out of her and were dripping on the the school tiles.
"The first night you were put in the hospital I was there. I tried to talk to you, but you were unconscious. I wanted to come visit more, but the visitor's center manager is a Klan member with my father. I begged him to let me in once, but he called my parents. They took my car, my phone, and my computer. I had no way of reaching you. Two weeks ago I tried walking to the hospital. When I got to your room you were asleep again. The doctors had just done surgery. I guess I have bad timing." He scratched his head in the nervous way he always did.
Silent sobs filled her lungs. What words she would have said were drown by tears. She put her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her as if letting go would mean dying. The tardy bell had rung minutes ago, but they were past the point of caring. His warmth sent heat through her entire body, numbing the constant pain that followed her after that night.
"Your mom told me. Elsie, I didn't want to put you through this. If I had known this was going to happen I would never have brought you to my house. I would have never asked you to go to that college football game with me last year. You went through all this pain because of me. I never want that to happen again." He broke the hug and looked directly into her eyes. Tears welled up in his eyes, just waiting for gravity to allow to fall and join her puddle on the floor.
"Are you saying you regret ever becoming my boyfriend?"
"I'm saying if I would have known how much pain my love for you had cost," He grabbed her hands carefully cradling them in his, "I would have stopped you from going through this." He unwrapped and area of the bandages and kissed the raw skin beneath. It sent electricity down her spine. The stitches holding together her new skin burned, but she never wanted the fire to disappear. It was a pain she desperately wanted more of.
"I am in love with your skin, with your beauty, with your brains, with your smile, with your happiness. Elsie Greene, I am madly, insanely, uncontrollably in love with you. And that's why I'm switching schools."
